Who are those Extended breastfeeding moms?

My experience

Well I am one of them. We are regular moms, who love and care for our kids with passion as any other good mom. Most of us didn’t wake up one day and decided:”I’m going to breastfeed my kid until he is 4”. Extended breastfeeding, or I must use the correct term, full term breastfeeding came gradually with the knowledge and experience gained day by day.

Most breastfeeding moms I have known can be divided in 3 groups. All of them have done research and that’s why they choose breastfeeding for their children. The first group, as a result of their research, say: “I’m going to breastfeed for a year”. The second group, have gone a little farther on their research (cause lets be honest you can find millions of articles of breastfeeding babies, but toddlers? That’s harder to find) and they decided: “I’m going to breastfeed ‘till my baby is two”. There is a third group, it’s the expert ones, usually the ones that had previous experience with extended breastfeeding and they are the ones who say: “I’m breastfeeding ‘till my kid decides to stop”.

Now there is only a small amount of breastfeeding women who actually reach their goals. Most of them sadly give up before their first year. It is their fault? No. It’s ignorance’s fault. Not their ignorance, but family members, friends, relatives, even nurses and doctors… We breastfeeding mommies receive such negative feedbacks; there are such so many breastfeeding myths, its really hard for us to keep going. The pressure is unbelievable and lots of mommies give up in efforts of trying to do what’s best for their babies.

Reaching the 1st year mark to me is the most important goal a breastfeeding mom can achieve and I bow to whoever reached it because I know it’s not easy. Most mommies wean their babies after the 1st birthday and most babies self wean before the two year mark. I weaned my first before her first year, and my 2nd and 3rd kid were weaned before 18 months. But there are other babies who just aren’t ready to wean. Babies who want to keep on breastfeeding. Babies like my Francisco.

I was a mommy from the 1st group. I breastfeed for a year and introduce cows milk and start weaning gradually until they are done. And that’s what I did with Fran because 2 years old was way out my comfort zone. He was 15 months when Daddy went to military training. He nursed a lot before, more than my other kids at that age, but when Daddy left he started nursing like a baby, even waking up at night. I asked the pediatrician and he said to keep on nursing cause it was helping him to deal with missing his daddy. So I started doing more research and made the commitment that two years old was my new goal: My New comfort zone.

But when Francisco Javier turned 2 he wasn’t over yet. I could feel it he wasn’t ready! Then I learned it wasn’t about MY comfort zone it’s about HIS comfort zone: HIS readiness. Until 2-3 weeks ago he nursed first thing in the mornings, as a mid morning snack, after every meal, as a mid afternoon snack, before going to sleep, and sometimes he would wake up at night to nurse. He would nurse even after drinking a whole cup or regular milk or juice. He would nurse to comfort himself when he had a boo-boo or when he was sick. Now he is 30 months (2 ½ years) he is only nursing in the mornings, for bedtime and for naptime. He still does it when he is sad , afraid or hurting….

Did I plan this? Of course not. Most of us don’t plan this. Extended breastfeeding is something that just happens. And if you research on it you might learn that it’s actually full of psychological and nutritional benefits for our kids.

Fran is a normal toddler. He is curious and pretty independent. He can stay up to a week, with my sister without missing me. He can drink not from a zippy cup but from a regular cup since he was 18 months. He is not traumatized; he is not a mamma’s boy. He is as healthy and smart as any other kid. I am a regular mommy also. I care about my body, I care about my marriage, my sex life, sometimes I love breastfeeding sometimes I hate it and can’t wait for him to stop, I am not a sick-o or a pervert and I bet the rest extended breastfeeding moms are the same. We are just normal women who want the best for our kids and don’t want to force them to quit something they are not ready to quit.