Disclaimer: This is just based on MY EXPERIENCE and what I have seen and lived, not only with my kids but with my friends and relatives kids. I am not a doctor. I do have made research on my own about toddlerhood behavior. I have read Freud, Ericson, Piaget, Dr. Spock, Dr Sears and many others I can’t remember the names. For years I received four parenting magazines and read them all. I was studying to be a preschool teacher but I dropped to have my oldest, so I took child development and other similar courses on college. I am new to ADHD because honestly until my oldest was diagnosed I didn’t believe on it and my girl was affected because of my attitude. I finally gave in about a year ago had her diagnosed, medicated and she is doing great. So while ADHD is new to me I do consider myself expert in toddler behavior.
Now I believe a perfect age to diagnose ADHD is about five years old. Seven which is the average diagnose age used by most doctors seems late for me. By this time, grades can be already affected. But before this age I think it’s a mistake because normal toddler behavior can easily be mistaken as ADHD.
As I said the oldest of my four children is ADHD. I never saw symptoms until she started school, she was a normal toddler. For some reason there was a baby boom between my family and friends by the time Gab was born. Two of my cousins, my neighbor and three of my friends were pregnant at the same time as me. Our kids’ birthdays range between July 15 and November 3, 1999. I babysat for all of them and it was a great thing because I was able to compare. Only Gab is ADHD. She was more active than some of them and behaved so much better than others. She did things earlier than all of them. Gab walked at 10 months, talked in phrases by 15 months and started getting out of her crib at 18 months. Gab was independent. If she wanted milk and I couldn’t give it to her right away, she would try and do it herself before her second birthday. She would climb anything to get what she wanted. So I just baby proofed everything and started having her things ready for her. I kept zippy cups ready to go on the refrigerator so she only had to open it and take one without getting into trouble. Other than that independence I didn’t have any other problems with her. She was a normal toddler no different than the rest and she didn't show any behavior I hadn’t read about before.
Gab was 15 months when Erica was born. Erica was a high needs baby. She had severe reflux and took so much of my time -hence Gab’s need for being so independent. Her toddlerhood was normal too. She was a lot quieter than Gab but she was a whiny toddler, not independent at all and she would bite. But she is NOT ADHD
Now DANIEL... (I have to put in on bold cause DANIEL was the icing of the cake) He put the TERRIBLE in the phrase TERRIBLE TWOS. He was the perfect baby. The best of the four, he never cried, he was always happy, but as soon he turned 18 months he transformed into a monster. He would never sit quietly, EVER. Taking him anywhere was HELL. He would not sit in the shopping carts, high chairs OR EVEN THE CAR SEAT. I had to change car seats several times to find one he couldn’t escape. Just imagine driving and suddenly having a two year old jump on your lap!!!! And the last one didn’t work either. One day he didn’t do it anymore and we were thankful he finally stopped. Dan also threw the biggest tantrums. He would cry over for HOURS and whatever you did would make it worse. Believe me nothing ever worked. Not even removing him from the situation. He calmed when he decided to do it. No one ever wanted to babysit him. I felt so bad for him. My mom and my mother-in-law, even my best friend would babysit my girls, but not Daniel. I had to watch him literally ALL THE TIME. I even had to take him to the bathroom with me. And even with the constant watching, the times I was really busy (I had 2 more kids you know!) or let my guard down (being way too tired) he did these things:
· He ate a roach
· Climbed on the kitchen counter and took my santoku and chef knife which I store on the TOP cabinet
· He took some matches and almost burnt my bedroom down
· Flooded my house TWICE
· Made artwork with poop (several times)
· Drank water from the toilet
· Played with his cars on the toilet
· He hit his sister forehead with a car-she needed 4 stitches
Just think of every toddler horror story you ever heard and he’s done it. And believe me I watched him! Some of these things he did right before my eyes, he was just way too fast for me to stop him. (Like hitting his sister or eating that roach). There was times when I honestly believed something was really wrong with him. He was 3 when a doctor said he was ADHD. Of course, I though the doctor was crazy (remember I started believing in ADHD just a year ago). But you know what? Some time after his fourth birthday, he outgrew all of this so even when it drove me crazy, it was normal behavior after all.
The point is let the toddlers be toddlers. Of course there are lots of conditions that should be diagnosed in toddlerhood but ADHD is not one of them.
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