I respect your choice but please dont act ignorant!

I am a breastfeeding mom of four. I don't have and never had anything against formula feeding moms. If you are I can see your point . If you are the one taking care of the baby and you are the one feeding him , well of course ITS YOUR CHOICE.

I know breastfeeding can be hard. I used both breastmilk and formula with my oldest for a few months because it was too hard for me...then at two month i decided I wanted to Breastfeed exclusively so I did till Gab was 10 months when she bit me. And that was enough reason for me to stop cold turkey. It wasn't the best decision, but that's what i did.

I gave up with my second daughter as well. She was too demanding. Until the doctor said she couldn't tolerate anything but breastmilk and I had to start over again, after a month of having weaned, and I breastfeed her till 18 months. I breastfeed my oldest boy 16 mos and currently breastfeeding my 30 months boy , and I am pretty proud of it.

As you can see I understand you, and I respect you, but what I can not stand Its IGNORANCE. THIS VENT ITS NOT ABOUT FORMULA FEEDING MOMS. ITS ABOUT THE ONES WHO DARE TO SAY THAT FORMULA AND BREASTMILK IS THE SAME.

Breastmilk its not the same as formula. It doesn't have the same ingredients. It doesn't loose its nutritional value over time. Please don't repeat what you heard somewhere, what your mom said, what your friend said, what your ignorant doctor said (it must be ignorant to go against the AAP ) , or the opinion you formed to convince yourself that formula is the best for your child so you don't feel guilty. If you have really done only a minimal research on the subject, you will notice, that even in formula cans its written the words "breast is best".

Don't be offended when you see posters saying that breast is best or when somebody talks about the benefits of breastfeeding. It doesnt matter how many tantrums you throw over this, you will not change the facts that breast is best.

BREASTFEDING

• Have at least 100 ingredients that FORMULA DOESN'T HAVE
  
• provides protection against illnesses (not only the colostrum), For mommy and for baby.
  
• have emotional benefits as well for mom and for baby
• healthier babies (if your son its healthy just imagine how healthier he'll be if he was breastfeed)
• smarter babies (Of course genetics play a mayor role in intelligence but your baby may be smarter than your friend's breastfeed baby. Just imagine how much smarter he would be if you had breastfeed him and how much dumber your friend's baby would be if she haven't)
• Help in the formation of teeth
  
• its cheaper
• its easier to prepare
• it comes on very nice bottles
• etc.
  

If you formula feed you have all the right to be proud about it. Why not? You have all the right to brag about how healthy and smart is your baby. You don't have to be ashamed of your decision, but please accept the fact that breast is best.

Do you really believe you know more than the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the World Health Organization?

So please learn to accept the reality, don't get mad at WIC or the lactation consultant at the hospital, because all they want it whats BEST for your baby, Don't get mad at any friend who wants you to try breastfeeding, because no matter how much you complain. breastfeeding will STILL being BEST for babies.

http://kellymom.com/

http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb.html?m=0,0,0

http://www.breastfeeding.com/

http://www.promom.org/101/

Who are those Extended breastfeeding moms?

My experience

Well I am one of them. We are regular moms, who love and care for our kids with passion as any other good mom. Most of us didn’t wake up one day and decided:”I’m going to breastfeed my kid until he is 4”. Extended breastfeeding, or I must use the correct term, full term breastfeeding came gradually with the knowledge and experience gained day by day.

Most breastfeeding moms I have known can be divided in 3 groups. All of them have done research and that’s why they choose breastfeeding for their children. The first group, as a result of their research, say: “I’m going to breastfeed for a year”. The second group, have gone a little farther on their research (cause lets be honest you can find millions of articles of breastfeeding babies, but toddlers? That’s harder to find) and they decided: “I’m going to breastfeed ‘till my baby is two”. There is a third group, it’s the expert ones, usually the ones that had previous experience with extended breastfeeding and they are the ones who say: “I’m breastfeeding ‘till my kid decides to stop”.

Now there is only a small amount of breastfeeding women who actually reach their goals. Most of them sadly give up before their first year. It is their fault? No. It’s ignorance’s fault. Not their ignorance, but family members, friends, relatives, even nurses and doctors… We breastfeeding mommies receive such negative feedbacks; there are such so many breastfeeding myths, its really hard for us to keep going. The pressure is unbelievable and lots of mommies give up in efforts of trying to do what’s best for their babies.

Reaching the 1st year mark to me is the most important goal a breastfeeding mom can achieve and I bow to whoever reached it because I know it’s not easy. Most mommies wean their babies after the 1st birthday and most babies self wean before the two year mark. I weaned my first before her first year, and my 2nd and 3rd kid were weaned before 18 months. But there are other babies who just aren’t ready to wean. Babies who want to keep on breastfeeding. Babies like my Francisco.

I was a mommy from the 1st group. I breastfeed for a year and introduce cows milk and start weaning gradually until they are done. And that’s what I did with Fran because 2 years old was way out my comfort zone. He was 15 months when Daddy went to military training. He nursed a lot before, more than my other kids at that age, but when Daddy left he started nursing like a baby, even waking up at night. I asked the pediatrician and he said to keep on nursing cause it was helping him to deal with missing his daddy. So I started doing more research and made the commitment that two years old was my new goal: My New comfort zone.

But when Francisco Javier turned 2 he wasn’t over yet. I could feel it he wasn’t ready! Then I learned it wasn’t about MY comfort zone it’s about HIS comfort zone: HIS readiness. Until 2-3 weeks ago he nursed first thing in the mornings, as a mid morning snack, after every meal, as a mid afternoon snack, before going to sleep, and sometimes he would wake up at night to nurse. He would nurse even after drinking a whole cup or regular milk or juice. He would nurse to comfort himself when he had a boo-boo or when he was sick. Now he is 30 months (2 ½ years) he is only nursing in the mornings, for bedtime and for naptime. He still does it when he is sad , afraid or hurting….

Did I plan this? Of course not. Most of us don’t plan this. Extended breastfeeding is something that just happens. And if you research on it you might learn that it’s actually full of psychological and nutritional benefits for our kids.

Fran is a normal toddler. He is curious and pretty independent. He can stay up to a week, with my sister without missing me. He can drink not from a zippy cup but from a regular cup since he was 18 months. He is not traumatized; he is not a mamma’s boy. He is as healthy and smart as any other kid. I am a regular mommy also. I care about my body, I care about my marriage, my sex life, sometimes I love breastfeeding sometimes I hate it and can’t wait for him to stop, I am not a sick-o or a pervert and I bet the rest extended breastfeeding moms are the same. We are just normal women who want the best for our kids and don’t want to force them to quit something they are not ready to quit.

My views on ADHD and toddlers

Disclaimer: This is just based on MY EXPERIENCE and what I have seen and lived, not only with my kids but with my friends and relatives kids. I am not a doctor. I do have made research on my own about toddlerhood behavior. I have read Freud, Ericson, Piaget, Dr. Spock, Dr Sears and many others I can’t remember the names. For years I received four parenting magazines and read them all. I was studying to be a preschool teacher but I dropped to have my oldest, so I took child development and other similar courses on college. I am new to ADHD because honestly until my oldest was diagnosed I didn’t believe on it and my girl was affected because of my attitude. I finally gave in about a year ago had her diagnosed, medicated and she is doing great. So while ADHD is new to me I do consider myself expert in toddler behavior.

Now I believe a perfect age to diagnose ADHD is about five years old. Seven which is the average diagnose age used by most doctors seems late for me. By this time, grades can be already affected. But before this age I think it’s a mistake because normal toddler behavior can easily be mistaken as ADHD.

As I said the oldest of my four children is ADHD. I never saw symptoms until she started school, she was a normal toddler. For some reason there was a baby boom between my family and friends by the time Gab was born. Two of my cousins, my neighbor and three of my friends were pregnant at the same time as me. Our kids’ birthdays range between July 15 and November 3, 1999. I babysat for all of them and it was a great thing because I was able to compare. Only Gab is ADHD. She was more active than some of them and behaved so much better than others. She did things earlier than all of them. Gab walked at 10 months, talked in phrases by 15 months and started getting out of her crib at 18 months. Gab was independent. If she wanted milk and I couldn’t give it to her right away, she would try and do it herself before her second birthday. She would climb anything to get what she wanted. So I just baby proofed everything and started having her things ready for her. I kept zippy cups ready to go on the refrigerator so she only had to open it and take one without getting into trouble. Other than that independence I didn’t have any other problems with her. She was a normal toddler no different than the rest and she didn't show any behavior I hadn’t read about before.

Gab was 15 months when Erica was born. Erica was a high needs baby. She had severe reflux and took so much of my time -hence Gab’s need for being so independent. Her toddlerhood was normal too. She was a lot quieter than Gab but she was a whiny toddler, not independent at all and she would bite. But she is NOT ADHD

Now DANIEL... (I have to put in on bold cause DANIEL was the icing of the cake) He put the TERRIBLE in the phrase TERRIBLE TWOS. He was the perfect baby. The best of the four, he never cried, he was always happy, but as soon he turned 18 months he transformed into a monster. He would never sit quietly, EVER. Taking him anywhere was HELL. He would not sit in the shopping carts, high chairs OR EVEN THE CAR SEAT. I had to change car seats several times to find one he couldn’t escape. Just imagine driving and suddenly having a two year old jump on your lap!!!! And the last one didn’t work either. One day he didn’t do it anymore and we were thankful he finally stopped. Dan also threw the biggest tantrums. He would cry over for HOURS and whatever you did would make it worse. Believe me nothing ever worked. Not even removing him from the situation. He calmed when he decided to do it. No one ever wanted to babysit him. I felt so bad for him. My mom and my mother-in-law, even my best friend would babysit my girls, but not Daniel. I had to watch him literally ALL THE TIME. I even had to take him to the bathroom with me. And even with the constant watching, the times I was really busy (I had 2 more kids you know!) or let my guard down (being way too tired) he did these things:

· He ate a roach

· Climbed on the kitchen counter and took my santoku and chef knife which I store on the TOP cabinet

· He took some matches and almost burnt my bedroom down

· Flooded my house TWICE

· Made artwork with poop (several times)

· Drank water from the toilet

· Played with his cars on the toilet

· He hit his sister forehead with a car-she needed 4 stitches

Just think of every toddler horror story you ever heard and he’s done it. And believe me I watched him! Some of these things he did right before my eyes, he was just way too fast for me to stop him. (Like hitting his sister or eating that roach). There was times when I honestly believed something was really wrong with him. He was 3 when a doctor said he was ADHD. Of course, I though the doctor was crazy (remember I started believing in ADHD just a year ago). But you know what? Some time after his fourth birthday, he outgrew all of this so even when it drove me crazy, it was normal behavior after all.

The point is let the toddlers be toddlers. Of course there are lots of conditions that should be diagnosed in toddlerhood but ADHD is not one of them.

When It rains....It pours!

One of the amazing adventures, when you have four little ones is when they get sick. If you are lucky enough, then all your kids will get sick at the same time, which means, one trip to the doctor, and sharing medicines etc. In other occasions you will have what I call "the cycle". One kid get sick, then another and by the time the first one is healthy, the last one who is still sick, passes the illness to the first one, and "the cycle" starts again. But if you are me, they will wait to this time of the year when you are broke...right after Christmas, near taxes time, and they will get four different illnesses at the same time. That means: several travel to the doctor, different labs done to all of them, different medicines at a different schedule each ( seriously try memorizing all the medicine schedules). Forget about sleeping, because you have to give antibiotic to Daniel at 1am, nebulizer treatment to Erica at 2am, eye drops to Gab at 3 am, fever reducer to Fran at 4 am and at 5 guess what?? Its time for Dan's antibiotic again!

Now here's my amazing week:

• Friday: Dan had an ear ache.
• Saturday: Gabriela had a stomach ache.
• Sunday: they both seemed better and played all day only to get worse in the afternoon.
• Monday: Pediatrician trip. Dan has an ear infection and Gab needs some laboratories. Dan need antibiotic, ear drops and cold medicine.
• Tuesday: Gab goes to the lab, I received a nice call from school with wonderful news: Erica is sick. I go pick her up and fantastic! when things could not get any better! she has asthma! YAY!(notice the irony here). I start her treatment on my own but it didn't worked.
• Wednesday: Gab, who is way better from her stomach ache has an eye red, while preparing to go to the pediatrician, my baby starts a fever and vomits... and of course he has to vomit over mommy. We go to the ped...AGAIN! Gab has conjunctivitis and the labs showed a urine tract infection. She needs a to get a sonogram and more labs. Erica starts a fever in the doctors office. Now she needs to get more labs done, thank God all the baby has a virus, wich will clear on its own(hoping his siblings don't get it too). We make another pharmacy trip. We need 3 different asthma medicines for Erica and a cough syrup, eye drops and more antibiotic for Gab. I've spent over 150 on this little game and suddenly my cell phone gets suspended because I went over the damn spending limit. Gotta love Sprint.
• Today we went to the lab. More test to be done, more money to spend. I can swear, the lab woman sees my face and she gets all happy and exited thinking what she is going to buy with my money. I sent hubby to pick up the medicines and he got them all wrong, which means I have to go again to the pharmacy. Then I had another doctor appointment today, because she wants to see Erica's labs results. I dress the kids, get there, unstrap the four, go into the building, only to find out the doctor is not on the office..... I could have stayed happy on my home.
• Friday: Tomorrow we have Gabriela's sonogram and another doctor trip to take Erica's lab results.

As you can see this have been a wonderful week, anything but boring. I cant wait till next week when Hubby goes away for three weeks military training. Gotta love my life.

Four kids one hubby and a blog: NOW i have my hands full

Long time ago I been wanting to start my own web page. I like to write, I like to give advice, I've read a whole lot about parenting, plus experience....I think I've learned a little something trough the years and thought I could share. Also in those so stressed evening, writing, and let it all out helps me not to kill somebody, so in every way it looked like a pretty good idea for everyone.

I'm married to a computer freak! he is the best, specially when it comes to computers (and not because I know he definitelly will read) we tried to make my page like a hundred times, but try programming HTML with four kids jumping, running, screaming, by your side! and then hubby and I could never agree on what we wanted MY page to look like (you got it right?? hubby wanting to do what HE wanted with MY page) So finally he gave up to the idea of doing it from scratch and found this blogger stuff, and now hes trying to hook me up.

So the blog wars have begin in my home. I want my blog to be bilingual, he wants me to choose: English or spanish, not both. I am Puertorrican you see so I speak Spanish, but sometimes im in the English mood specially after seeing lots of cable tv, my brain start to think in english and take its time to reset. Fighting over the layout the colors LOL! I'll probably end up doing what he wants because as I said he is a genious.

Ok now a little about me. I already said I am Puertorrican, almost 29 yeasr old and obiously woman. If you haven't figure it out I have four kiddos: Gabriela is 8, Erica 7, Daniel is 5 and Francisco is 2 years old. Yes, we have a tv in home, and two computers by the way! We just love babies (and making them) I almost ten years married with the hubby wich most of the time makes the fift kid in the house. I don't know how but i've been able to keep my sanity...... yet.

We also have a kitten, wich my kids like to torture. I think he is masochist bacause he seems to actually like living in here and being squished all the time. My life can be messy at times, but as I said it is very fun. I love my kids to death, my hubby is imperfectly wonderful and i cant wait to keep writing on this blog.